Table 1 Analytic model for written commentary

Focus

Task response

This seems to be very similar to the previous point you made in the previous paragraphs

Coherence and cohesion

Just one thing, the pronoun reference word ‘it’ is a bit unclear in main body paragraph 2 and ‘them’ in the conclusion

Lexical resource

Try to change the unusual general vocabulary that I’ve highlighted, which sound unnatural

Grammatical range and accuracy

I was impressed with the range and quality of structures

Other

This is a very good essay, good job!

Length

Short (1–5 words)

Average (6–19)

Long (20–49)

Very long (50 +)

Explicitness

Explicit

Perhaps add ‘people from different countries or cultures’ to be more precise

Implicit

I feel this point is rather similar to your previous main argument

Revisions not required

Body paragraph 1 has a good concluding sentence

Semantic function

Advisory

I’d use cautious language here to avoid overgeneralising: ‘that can result’

Criticism

I don’t understand what you mean here

Descriptive

The points you make are relevant, extended, and supported

Imperative

Combine into one word

Praise

Another good topic-specific item

Question posing

Could you give an example of this?

Reflective

Wow. I had no idea the complex was so large. But I’m not surprised, there are so many amazing sights there

Provision of mitigation strategy

Hedges

Perhaps say ‘need to’

Interrogative syntax

Is there a more academic sounding word?

Paired act/positive softener

This is OK, but is there a more academic sounding word?

Personal attribution

I think ‘Take for example the country Spain, where…’ sounds more appropriate as you’re writing only about Spain

None

Replace with ‘the personality of the actor’